By Soren James


What does it all mean?

a) Nothing.

b) Everything.

c) All of the above, and some of the below.


What do you think, really?

a) Thoughts.

b) Okay, dirty thoughts.

c) I don't like being probed like this.


How long is a piece of string?

a) Short.

b) Long.

c) It is what it is.


Is the glass half full, or half empty?

a) The contents are stale and should be disposed of immediately.

b) The glass is the wrong size for the amount of liquid.

c) Depends . . .


What is the time?

a) Now.

b) Just after now.

c) A construct that facilitates slavery on an industrial scale.


Asked to read the following options, do you . . . ?

a) Read.

b) Refuse to read.

c) Pretend to read – assuming the words to be as boring as all other words you’ve tried to read.


In a surrealist universe, do you . . . ?

a) Melt.

b) Ingratiate yourself with local bald patches.

c) Choose ‘d-squared’.


If your response is unclassifiable, do you . . . ?  

a) Choose at random.

b) Choose at random.

c) Calculate there’s a two-thirds' chance you’ll be exposed as having chosen at random, and so choose this one.


If ‘a’ and ‘b’ are defective, why use ‘c’ to answer this question?

a) Cat wand.

b) Spigot enticement racket.

c) It makes sense.


Given all the answers, do you . . . ?

a) Choose the correct one.

b) Choose this one – telling you ‘c’ is correct.

c) Choose this one – telling you ‘a’ is correct, but only if you choose ‘b’.


Is it limiting to have only three options?

a) Three is enough.

b) Three is the right number.

c) Three is a few.


If ‘a’ is correct, why are ‘b’ and ‘c’ present?

a) To empower.

b) To patronise you into believing there's a choice.

c) To dis-empower.


Offered a choice, do you?

a) Choose.

b) Decide.

c) Select.


If you ceased to exist, would you . . . ?





Offered options ‘a’ ’b’ or ‘c’, would you chose . . . ?

a) c

b) a

c) b


Which of the following is correct?

a) This one.

b) This one.

c) This one.


In a totalitarian state, do you . . . ?

a) Comply.

a) Comply.

a) Comply.



Soren James is a writer and visual artist who recreates himself on a daily basis from the materials at his disposal, continuing to do so in upbeat manner until one day he will sumptuously throw his drained materials aside and resume stillness without asking why. More of his work can be seen here.